If you are considering having your child attend your second birth, here are a few tips to improve the experience.

  1. Arrange to have someone on site dedicated to looking after your older child.
    He will need full time care from a loving and trusted adult who is able to stay with him, and attend to his needs, throughout the entire labour and birth.

  2. Prepare your child. Read books about birth. Watch films about birth (youtube has many). Discuss the sounds and faces mom might make ahead of time so they don’t seem alarming to your child.

  3. Allow your child to come and go as she feels comfortable. Don’t expect she’ll necessarily stay to watch—she might, or she might not want to.

  4. Have a job or two that your child can do. Whether it’s massaging mom’s hands, or pouring water over mom’s shoulders (if you’re in a tub or pool), or fanning mom’s face, some children enjoy having a focus, and being able to help.

  5. Have a back-up plan. Some moms find the presence of their older child too distracting, which can interfere with oxytocin production and effective labouring. Some children find witnessing the labour distressing, which can upset and alarm them. Have a strategy in place for either of these possibilities, such as a book, movie or excursion lined up for the child. It is important that the child feels invited to participate in something else, rather than excluded from her mother’s presence. So try to plan something you know the child would be excited to do instead, whether it’s a rare and special treat, or a familiar and favourite activity

  6. Keep your expectations open and flexible. Like any aspect of birth, we don’t know how things will go until we’re there, so having an open mind and open heart is essential.

Stephanie Ondrack

Stephanie’s interest in birth began with the birth of her own first child in 2001. With an academic background in English Literature and Women’s Studies, Stephanie attained certification as a Birth Doula and as a Childbirth Educator through Douglas College in 2002. She has been pursuing the topic with passion ever since, attending conferences, reading journals, and constantly upgrading her knowledge.

Stephanie is honoured to cross paths with so many families at such a pivotal juncture in their lives. As the mother of three children, she is personally familiar with the unpredictable nature of pregnancy, birth, and parenthood. Her goal is to help empower parents to make their own best choices according to their own circumstances and beliefs, and to help promote the best possible experience for the new baby within that context. She believes that the birth of a baby can be a joyful and transcending experience for the whole family, made better with accurate information and a sense of confidence. Stephanie’s enthusiasm and compassion shine through in her teaching, as does her genuine love of the topics.

https://thesmallsteph.com/
Previous
Previous

Ask Childbearing: How do I know if I really need a medical procedure?

Next
Next

Ask Childbearing: Should I swaddle my newborn?