A very common fear before giving birth for the first time is the idea of tearing. And it’s obvious why. The image of having your body ripped open is dreadful and appalling. It’s terrifying. The very idea makes anyone cringe and cower, and gives the impression that birth will be excruciatingly painful, and damaging to your very bodily integrity. 

But this particular image is somewhat misleading. It’s an inaccurate analogy that is based on centuries of not understanding everything that happens during birth, and focusing exclusively on the idea of the mechanics of one body bursting out of another. Yes, that sounds scary, like the movie Alien, or The Substance, or countless other iconic images of parasitic host-body horror. But this is not a good metaphor for birth, because it misses all the quiet ways our body can help us birth the baby, and stay intact while doing so.

Here are twelve facts about your perineum that might change the way you think about a baby emerging from your body.